Saturday, June 2, 2012

To the Facebookers

As the thousands turn into millions, and the millions eventually turn into billions, I stand strong as an outcast from the Facebook society. Yeah, that’s right, I’m not a member. Cue ‘What! You aren’t on Facebook?’ Cue ‘How am I supposed to reach you? How do you maintain friendships? How do you keep in touch with the world!’. I’m a old-fashioned believer that friends can still be made face to face, which is probably why I don’t have many friends.

I’m well aware of the advantages of Facebook as a social tool. I know that it can be a great medium to connect with people, to advertise, to deal with boredom. Yes, I’ve seen The Social Network, and I get it. I’m not here to insult anybody who uses Facebook. I don’t avoid it because I’m too cool, and I don’t think I’m better than anybody that uses it, that would be ridiculous.

There are a hundred bullshit reasons I could give for why I’m not on Facebook. I’m afraid of letting people get too close to my life, I’m rebelling against The Man, I’m way too cool and non-conformist to be a part of such a popular network. Those would sound alright, spoken aloud, but none of them would be true. I rarely admit this to the ‘you aren’t on Facebook!’ types, but I’ll tell you the real reason I’m not on Facebook. Because if you can’t tell the honest truth to a million strangers, who can you tell it to?

I’m not on Facebook for the exact reason I haven’t tried cocaine. Because if I was on Facebook, if I did snort the magical white stuff, I wouldn’t be able to stop. Having a blog is one thing, my self-love can still be contained within a blog post. But if I was on Facebook, I just know I’d be refreshing the page every four seconds to see who’s posted on my wall. A blog post a day is healthy, but on Facebook I’d be posting every single thought I was having, every moment of the day. That wouldn’t be good for me, and it sure as hell wouldn’t be good for society.

That all being said, I need to address you Facebookers directly. I need to let you know that there’s a world outsite of that website. There’s e-mail, texting, phone calls, and even this crazy activity called real conversation. The problem I’m having is that people post things on Facebook assuming that the whole world is reading it. That leaves us non-Facebookers sitting on the side of the road, thumb out, as the Facebookers zoom by, splattering mud onto our shoes.

Inspiration for this post: My friend Wayne Mugsby is currently in Taiwan. He’s been gone for weeks now, and the only updates I’ve received about his well-being are from my friend and my girl, who are being kept in the loop by his Facebook. While a quick post to Facebook is easier than sitting down and writing an e-mail, it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth that my choice to reject Facebook leads me to have to ask other people how My friend is doing.

I believe in a world where Facebookers and non-Facebookers can co-exist and still know eachother. All it takes is a text, a phone call, an e-mail, a face to face. Don’t assume that everyone is on Facebook, and in exchange, I won’t assume that everyone on Facebook is a self-obsessed douchebag like I would inevitably become.


  1. To be honest, this kind of motivates me to rebel against my Facebook... More so for your bullshit reasons than your aversion to socio-cyberspace addiction. I will ignore Facebook for one week! But how will I know when people's birthdays are?

  2. Dude, I saw you on facebook today