Thursday, July 26, 2012

TV Celebrities say...

Rule #1: Spoilers cease being spoilers two weeks after the standard episode, two months after the season finale, and one year after the series finale. -Nelsan Ellis, True Blood

Rule #2: When recommending television, general enthusiasm is permitted. Pointed enthusiasm, however, is strictly forbidden. - Andre Royo, The Wire

Rule #3: Spoilers spoken in pig latin, gibberish, or French, will still be considered spoilers. Mandarin is okay. -Julie Benz, Dexter

Rule #4: In conversation, if the up to date viewers are in the majority, they may ask behind viewers to leave. If the two groups or equal, they must roshambo for dominance. If the first two rounds end in a tie, the groups must engage in a last man standing knife fight. - Michael Trucco, Battlestar Gallactica

Rule #5: During the 24 hours after a show airs, aka the red zone, both up to date and behind viewers agree to be especially vigilant regarding spoilers. -Sarah Wayne Callies, The Walking Dead

Rule #6: Any sentence prefaced with any variation of the following phrase: "Okay, so this isn't really a spoiler, but..." will not only be automatically deemed a spoiler, but the person uttering said phrase will not be allowed to speak for the next 45 minutes. -Masi Oka, Heroes

Rule #7: Viewers shall seek out information online at their own risk. A spoiler alert is considerate, but should by no means be expected. -Nelsan Ellis

Rule #8: In spite of all these rules, if an up to date viewer spoils a show for you, you may spoil something for them in return. Revenge spoilers shall be limited to the medium of the original spoiler. -Sarah Wayne Callies

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