Friday, August 24, 2012

Abraham says...

'I'll answer the handicapped fella's question first because he asked so nicely and without the use of firearms: What is a herd? That shot I just fired was heard in all directions for a long damn distance. Two miles? Three? Fuck if I know - - but a long damn way. Let me tell you how the world works since you fuckers don't seem to be paying attention for the last goddamn year of hell on earth we've all been living. Every rotting dead-alive fuck who just heard that is going to get up and start following that sound. That sound means people - - and people means meat. Some of them are close, and may actually make it to this area, since you've decided on a stationary camp - - that's a problem. Most of them can't walk a straight line and are as dumb as a post - - they'll lose interest or walk off in the wrong damn direction. But sometimes...not will walk by another one - - and that one will get up and follow. Then they'll meet more and they'll meet more, and more and more and more and more, you see where I'm going? They'll form a big group - - and sometimes these groups will encounter another group - - and they'll merge. What you end up with is hundreds of these undead fucks - - walking, nonstop, following a sound they've all forgotten. They're walking because everyone else is walking because they're walking, they're stupid as fuck. But these fucking massive groups of roaming zombies, did you call them roamers? That's cool. These fucking groups are called Herds. At least - - that's what we call them. They're bad fucking news. Now to answer little miss death threat's question...(Fuck you)...Right back at you. Eugene, what would your answer have been if you hadn't been so busy focusing on not shitting your pants?...It's classified. He never told us and he can't fucking tell you. Now I know what you're thinking - - this guy is crazy - - these people are crazy - - who the fuck would follow this crazy asshole to Washington D.C. without having any idea what the fuck it is he's actually trying to tell them. And rightly so...because that's what I thought about Eugene when I first met him. What a crazy piece of shit...that was my actual thought. But I was wrong. Once he rubs a needle on some silk to make a compass or makes you headache go away bu rubbing a thumb on the side of your head you'll start to realize, Eugene here is one smart mother fucker. The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers...I hope you guys aren't a bunch of stupid mother fuckers...because Eugene here sure as fuck ain't crazy.'

Abraham (from Issue 54, The Walking Dead, written by Robert Kirkman, 2008)

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