Thursday, August 23, 2012

Andy Millman says... (with mini Extras review)

'Ahhh, what are we doing? Selling ourselves, selling everything. Happiest day of my life: Oh, quick, I'd better do the invites and bake a cake, and get a press tent. Must have a press tent, it's a wedding. You know, I must see pictures of myself with other people I'm in a program with. Oh, and now I'm pregnant! Maybe we should televise the birth, get Ruby Wax to present it. Maybe it'll make Jimmy Carr's 'Hundred Greatest Caesarians'. I'm not having a go at you. I'm just sick of these celebrities, just living their life out in the open all the time. Why would you do that? It's like these pop stars who choose the perfect moment to go into rehab. They call their publicist before they call a taxi! And then they come out and they do their second autobiography. This one's called 'Love Me or I'll Kill Myself'. Oh, kill yourself then. And the papers lap it up. They follow us round, and that makes people think we're important, and that makes us think we're important. If they stopped following us round taking pictures of us, people wouldn't take to the streets going, 'Ooh, quick, I need a picture of Cameron Diaz with a pimple!' They wouldn't care, they'd get on with something else! They'd get on with their lives. You open the paper, and you see a picture of Lindsay Lohan getting out of a car, and the headline is, Cover up, Lindsay, We Can See your Knickers! Course you can see her knickers, your photographer is lying in the road, pointing his camera up her dress, to see her knickers! You're literally the gutter press. And fuck you, the makers of this show, as well! You can't wash your hands of this, you can't keep going, 'Oh, it's exploitation, but it's what the public want!' No! The Victorian Freak Show never went away. Now it's called Big Brother. Or The X-Factor, where in the preliminary rounds, we wheel out the bewildered to be sniggered at by multi-millionaires. And fuck you for watching this at home. Shame on you. And shame on me. I'm the worst of all, cause I'm one of these people that goes, 'Oh, I'm an entertainer. It's in my blood.' Yeah, it's in my blood cause a real job's too hard. I would've loved to have been a doctor. Too hard, didn't want to put the work in. Love to be a war hero, I'm too scared. So I go, 'It's what I do.' And I have someone bollocked if my cappucino's cold, or if they look at me the wrong way. Do you know what a friend of mine once said? They said I'll never be happy, cause I'll never be famous enough. And they were right. And if you're watching this, I'm so sorry. You're my best friend. You're my only friend. And you never did anything wrong. It was everything else. And I'll never do that again, I'll never treat you like that again. And it's eating at me, you asked me a stupid question once, and I just, I could have answered it, and I didn't, cause I was...I'll answer it now: I'd be the penguin. Cause I could eat the flying fish. I know what you're thinking: why doesn't the fish fly away? Well, they can't really fly, they sort of glide and flap. They should be called Glidey Flappy Fish. I'm so sorry.'

-Andy Millman (played by Ricky Gervais, 'The Extra Special Series Finale', written by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, Extras, 2007)

Mini-Review: I just finished watching the full Extras series, and the quote above is easily the stand-out moment from the show. I`ve never been a huge Ricky Gervais (or british comedy) fan, but Gervais fits perfectly into the role of Andy Millman, fame-starved extra turned embarassing-sitcom-star. This show relies a lot on word-play wit and offensive stereotype humour, but if you can keep up with the fast-talking accents, it`s actually quite well written. Each episode also features a celebrity, some of the highlights include: Ben Stiller, Daniel Radcliffe, Kate Winslet, Clive Owen, and Ian McKellan, all playing absolutely hilarious versions of themselves. Ashley Jenson as Andy`s best friend Maggie, is my favourite aspect of the show, she`s a great comedic actress who knows how to make self-deprecation quite amusing. She`s treated like a doormat through the show`s run, but plays the part perfectly. The speech above, performed by Andy Millman, who has begrudgingly found himself on Big Brother, was the perfect way to wrap up the show and to make us all think about the Celebrity lifestyle. I never thought Ricky Gervais, on a comedy show no less, could get me emotional, but man, his delivery of that monologue won me over big time. If British humour makes sense to you and you don`t mind witty offensive comedy, Extras is definitely worth checking out.

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