Sunday, August 26, 2012

Jeff Winger says...

'I know I don't have to, but I want to. Look, we've known eachother for almost two years now. And yeah, in that time, I've given a LOT of speeches. But they all have one thing in common: they're all different. These drug runners aren't gonna execute Pierce because he's racist, it's a locomotive that runs on US, and the only sharks in that water, are the emotional ghosts that I like to call Fear, Anchovies, Fear, and the Dangers of Ingesting Mercury. Because the real bugs aren't the ones in those beds, and there's no such thing as a free caesar salad, and even if there were, The Cape still might find a second life on cable. And I'll tell you why: the heart of the water is truth. That water is a lie! Harrison Ford is irradiating your testicles with microwave satellite transmissions! So maybe we are caught in an endless cycle of screw ups and hurt feelings. But I choose to believe it's just the universe's way of molding us into some kind of super group. Yes Troy, like the Travelling Wilburys of pain. Prepared for any insane adventure life throws our way. And I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to every single one of them.'

-Jeff Winger (played by Joel McHale, 'Paradigms of Human Memory', written by Chris McKenna, Community, 2011)

Note: This quote, admittedly, makes a LOT more sense if you've seen the episode and know that the speech is carried out through a montage of (fake) flashbacks. I still love how random it appears out of context.

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